I am SERIOUSLY too sensitive....
I wrote this blog yesterday. but dunno what happen, the blog started to have error...
Yestersday, i felt terribly sad or can say i am thinking too much bah.... It all happened during our bio class...
My bio cher was actually talking about my illness. (For those who dunno, I have Diabetes Type 1.) I felt so shy and embarrassed whenever he say the word "Diabetes." I thought i was prepared for whatever he will say on this topic. But this word "Diabetes" make me feel so awkward. He did not "酸" or say anything that hurt me. But it was how i felt towards this topic. I felt so strange and even told RuiLing that i want to leave the class until my cher finish his lesson.
To be honest, i am so afraid to tell people i have this illness. In my primary school life, i have never tell anyone before about my illness. I think that RuiLing or Audrey should be the first few to know about my illness.
Once my doctor asked me: "Are you able to accept the fate that you are born with this disease?" I had thought it a long time... When i was young, i did not think too much of my own illness. When i was young, i thought taking injections and blood glucose was nothing big deal for me. When i was young, i thought my parents did not give me sweets as they were afraid that i was unhealthy. When i was young, I did not know that my illness cannot be cured completely and the problems i would face. Now, i am more older. I know what is diabetes. (Of Course La! I Bio students leh!) I could feel the pain when i take my injections three times a day and blood glucose test two days a time! I know that i am unable to eat sugary food. I know that what would i become if i dun hab my medication.
As i am older, i become to be more rebellious. I eat sugary food, the more i take, the more i want to have it again. You may think that i am trying to harm and hurt myself if i continue this way. But would anyone understand the hardship i face since young? Have any young kids not take sweets stuff before? Have anyone try taking injections at the age of two? Have anyone go to hospital as frequently as i do as if the hospital had already been my second home since young? Have anyone know that it is difficult to be a child who is down with a illness? These are all the things i have to face since young and also now.
I do not mind all the difficulties i have to face but i just can't fully accept the fate of having this illness. I do not want to be sick, i want to be healthy like everyone in this world, i want to be normal! Who want to be unhealthy and sick? NOBODY, i believe!
Whenever my parents fought over money problems, i would hide under my blanket and cried. I think that my family problems actually came from me. If i am actually not sick, they wouldn't have to spend so many money on me for my illness. I felt like a "Jinx" in this family, if i was not born, a lot of things would not have happened. That's the reason why i try to study hard for my examination, i would like to get the edusave award and give my parents the money to lessen the money problem face at home. I am still very happy to be able to be in this family.
RuiLing and Kia Yim had told me to tell my bio cher about my illness (Maybe he actually know le) so that when he started talking about it, it wouldn't hurt me! They said that he was a nice guy and would understand it. But i did not want to tell him at all! He has the responsibility to teach as about diabetes. (Actually he did not talk much about it!) I think he might not remember a sentence he once told me actually had quite affected me. That sentence was: "I am not diabetic, i dunno!". I felt like: Hey there's someone who is diabetic in front of u! Anyway it's fine for him to say that since he was clueless about my illness. i would go and forget about it! =) I also dun wanna him know, later he stop me from eating this, eating that... hahaz... anyway...
Life would be the same for me! I would be happy everyday... a HAPPY GO LUCKY girl... A person who is always looking at the bright side of life... A girl who will stay strong and be tough in all obstacles that will come to me! I will be like any normal people, so do not be shocked when i tell u my illness... hahaz.... =)

TO ALL WHO FEEL SAD:
ALWAYS REMEMBER TO SMILE CUZ A SMILE IS A CURVE THAT SETS THINGS STRAIGHT.... =)

只想爱你
只想爱你
我终于还是说了一句我爱你
还记得那个微凉夜里天空正飘着小雨
心跳的声音像舞动奇迹
你看着我说千万不要爱上你
因为你只会让我伤心别傻了快点喊停
你那么冷静忽远又忽近
我知道我对你来说也许太年轻
我想我猜我问我终于了解
原来为爱流的眼泪也是种甜蜜滋味
只想爱你
当我和你走在一起就已经决定
不看不听不问也不会放弃
是你让我了解自己可以为爱那么坚定
只想爱你
好想每天睁开眼睛就能看到你
我知道我偶尔有一点任性
不管你做任何决定究竟爱我还是逃避
Sorry我还是不会放弃爱你

我终于还是说了一句我爱你
还记得那个微凉夜里天空正飘着小雨
心跳的声音像舞动奇迹
你看着我说千万不要爱上你
因为你只会让我伤心别傻了快点喊停
你那么冷静忽远又忽近
我知道我对你来说也许太年轻
我想我猜我问我终于了解
原来为爱流的眼泪也是种甜蜜滋味
只想爱你
当我和你走在一起就已经决定
不看不听不问也不会放弃
是你让我了解自己可以为爱那么坚定
只想爱你
好想每天睁开眼睛就能看到你
我知道我偶尔有一点任性
不管你做任何决定究竟爱我还是逃避
Sorry我还是不会放弃

Sorry我还是不会放弃
只想爱你当我和你走在一起就已经决定
不看不听不问也不会放弃
是你让我了解自己可以为爱那么坚定
只想爱你
好想每天睁开眼睛就能看到你
我知道我偶尔有一点任性
不管你做任何决定究竟爱我还是逃避

只想爱你
好想每天睁开眼睛就能看到你
我知道我偶尔有一点任性
不管你做任何决定究竟爱我还是逃避
Sorry我还是不会放弃
我还是不会放弃爱你

Hmm... the above song is actually by Rainie Yang... Nice Song...
Love it when the first time i heard it! Maybe i gt the feel ba....
Anyway... i am going to get my IC on monday.... wait so long le...
finally i will get it! hurray!!!! =)

BIRTHDAY... BOO... I AM BORN....
Helloz...
Tons of homework lately, just finish my E maths and A maths....
Haiz... today Christina actually invite MAYPIG to eat 火锅...
But none of us go... First i would like to say sorry to 毒猪...
anyway... i hope that you hab a nice time together with your other friends and also "Happy Birthday to You!"
Sorry i did not give you any surprises like you did for my birthday. I hope that you like the present we gave it to you. (PUT MY PIC IN IF U FEEL LIKE BASHING ME!)

Actually... i would really like to thank all who made me feel really HAPPY on my 15th birthday on 5 DEC 2006! It really feel good! I am actually touched but i just could not drop a single tear.
Thanz for all the birthday wishes and also presents.... i like it! It's the most wonderful birthday i have since my birth. I have never actually celebrate it together with my friends because my birthday fall in the holidays. Late year was so special, it was the performance day for my school performing arts at Victoria Hall. (I MUST SAY THEY HAVE DONE A GOOD JOB!) It just happens to come together with my birthday....

And of course, the most funniest part was when Sharmini cut the cake... hahaz... those who were there will sure know how she cut the cake. It was so small and so odd-shaped looking. (Sorry Sharmini, i didn't mean to say your cutting skill is bad, but it is indeed terribel!)

Most memorable part was when RuiLing, WeePeng and Valerie brought me to the canteen. Even though i was not shocked but i was touched! There at the canteen, i saw the birthday cake, presents which they brought and my friends who are there to celebrate my birthday together with me!

Most disappointing part was 老爸 did not say "Happy Birthday" to me. Instead he said "I am not going to wish you a 'Happy Birthday' because you own me $50." (For those who dunno, i actually win $1000 for the Youth For Causes Project) And lately, 老爸 tell me that i own him money for the YFC Project, money for Eagles Award, money for Edusave Bursary. Haiz... juz wonder how much i actually own him!

Most surprising part was that 老爸, 姜老师, 林老师, 小Leong哥(Sorry, er... did not mean to not respect Mr Leong, this name is actually given by my class last year, when i remember how this name was created, i can't help laughing!) and some other teachers wish me "Happy Birthday". First time in my life, any teacher wish me, a student "Happy Birthday"! Surprising for me! (Maybe i 少见多怪 ba!)

Most "Watery" Part.... It was when i finish my duties at Victoria Hall. When we were out, dunno who (Muz Be Sharmini Or Rui Ling) started pouring water over me! Hahaz... i feel so great! They pour water over me untill i felt as if i went for a shower! But it was fun! (IF CAN AGAIN, GREAT!)

That day, 5 DEC 2006, TUESDAY, would be a day i would remember it in my mind 4ever and ever! Never would i forget the fun time we had at the canteen and in school! Never would i forget the time we had at Victoria Hall and outside Victoria Hall.....

Lighting Your Way (Friendship Poem)
If I was one thing, I'd be a candle
Lighting the way so you can handle
Your life easier without woes
Not having to fight with your foes.

I'd help keep you from stumbling over
Things blocking your path to an open door.
If I light your path, life is easier,
Even strong winds, my light will not deter.

No matter what, I'm here for you
To cheer you up when you are blue.
Do not fret when times get tough,
If things look down or kind of rough.
Just remember, I'm always here,
In your heart, close and near.

I will help you out in every way,
Happiness and love in your heart will stay.
Don't blow me out, that's one request.
Unless it's me you do detest.

I do not try to hurt anyone.
That isn't good or any fun.
But one day you may leave me behind.
You may no longer need my light to shine.
If that day comes, go on your way.
And I will hope to see you again one day.

If one day, I don't appear,
Do not worry, do not fear.
I may be gone, but in your heart.
The light I gave you did not depart.
It will be there forever
To always bring happiness and light your way.

Farewell for now, I'm needed elsewhere,
If your path grows dark, in your heart, I'm there.
So I'm really not gone, just not seen,
I would not leave, I'm not that mean.
Only one simple request that I must say,
Please, never forget those who lit your way.

I Love You (Love Poem)
Your eyes
which first held me captivated
where I stood.

Your smile
to dazzle the sun
and warm every corner of my soul.

Your voice
like a sparkling mountain stream
which flows into my heart.

Your walk
and the way your gracefulness
takes my breath away.

Your hair
about which I dreamed
cascading into my face as you leaned over me.

Your hands
whose caress I crave
to hold my face in their tenderness.

Your arms
I long to have around my neck
as you pull me closeto your warmth.

Most of all
everything you are
changed the way I feel about my life.
I LOVE YOU!

世界上最遥远的距离 ~ ~ BY 泰戈尔
世界上最遥远的距离，
不是生与死，
而是我就站在你面前,
你却不知道我爱你。

世界上最遥远的距离，
不是我就站在你面前,
你却不知道我爱你，
而是明明知道彼此相爱,
却不能在一起。

世界上最遥远的距离，
不是明明知道彼此相爱,
却不能在一起，
而是明明无法抵挡这种思念，
却还得故意装做丝毫没有把你放在心里。

世界上最遥远的距离，
不是明明无法抵挡这种思念,
却还得故意装做丝毫没有把你放在心里。
而是用自己冷漠的心对爱你的人，
掘了一条无法跨越的沟渠。

Yoz.... long time never blog le... =)

Hahaz... the above poem is actually a so-called lines that was being taught by my chinese teacher. It's about a young girl who had fallen in love with someone who helped the Japanese during World War Two! But this guy was someone who liked flirt, a typical "PLAYBOY", and he never like this young girl before! She wrote this sentence "世界上最遥远的距离，不是在于生死离别，不是在于距离遥远，而是我在你的声旁，你却不知到‘我爱你’！”! For those who don't understand, it means "The world's greatest distance is not having been separated by life and death, is not the distance that matters, it is that i am right beside you, but you don't seem to know that 'I Love You!'"

Nice Line right? When i first came across it, felt that this sentence is so romantic and it's also true! Sometimes, you just love the person who is right beside you! Someone who goes through thick and thin with you! Someone who only sees your good points and would accept your bad points! But, we just lack the courage to say "I Love You!" These three words may seems plain but the meaning to it, is so powerful and meaningful! These three words may change the love life of yours!

Love = a feeling that struck you when you AREN'T AWARE at all!
Love = a feeling where AGE doesn't matter!
Love = a feeling where DISTANCE doesn't matter!
Love = a feeling where it sometimes relies on FATE!
Love = a feeling where all wants to HAVE, regardless whether it is friendship, family or BGR!

Hahaz... dunno y todae i write this? But anyway, purely it is because of this poem that really touches me! And maybe it is also because of some of the words that Ruiling and Christina had soured me with! Hahaz =), you all should know wat i am talking about!

Gotta sign out! Tomoro would be a busy day for me! Hope that tomoro would fly pass....... =)

1/1/2007 It's Another New Year!!!
Yes.... It has been first 21 hrs of 2007!
How's everyone till now? Hope u all hab a nice time...
I was counting down @ home yesterday... a bit boring but also happy to celebrate together with together with my family... =)

2007 = a year where i am going to take my 'O's
2007 = a year where i became YFC mentor
2007 = a year where i am going to take my ICs (Hahaz... 4 me is a bit late...)
2007 = a year where i have to work double hard
2007 = a year where i aims to score well
Anyway... i juz hopes that all my wishes come true!!!
"Happy are those who dream dreams and are ready to pay the price to make them come true."

Today is also the day where the channel "U" ten o'clock show ends.
I think Su Yi didn't die in the end!
Felt that she is brave and she is so positive about life.
For those who had watched the show, i believe that all of you should have know that she had suffered from heart diseases when she was born.
She is someone like me! (some of u might know, some of u dun...)
In my opinion, i think that people who suffers from some diseases (never mind whether it is curable or uncurable), are people who are positive about life. Not only do they have to face the health problem in their body, they have to also face the people in the society they live in, cope with financial problems. It seems that they are living in a maze full of problems, no matter where you turn left or right, you will never get to know whether it is the correct way or the problem you would face. They have to be very positive and also brave to take the first move, they have to cope with every obstacles and problems that comes to their way. It is very difficult to express how i feel towards these brave people... But just a WOW!!!
Even though they know that they might be die sooner or later... but they stay happy as always!!! They look just like normal people around us but their will of life is so far stronger than normal people's.

But all in all... i hope that there would be less people suffering from diseases... I wish that in 2007 and in the years to come everyone can be in their best health and always stay happy... HAPPINESS WILL MAKE A PERSON HEALTHY... so laugh more, but not too much... later people think you siao, send you to Institution Of Mental Health... (Like me, kanna say by ppl i crazy....but ok la... it means i am a happy person.)
"Learn to enjoy what you do; rather than do what you enjoy. Because it is not always possible to do things that one enjoys. But if you learn the art of joyful living, even seemingly boring chores can bring you joy."

Gonna sign off here today.... One more days to school....
Hope everyone hab a nice school year and do well in all your examinations too! =)

May Pig R0CKz.... 4EveR and eVEr..... =)