Oh no! Is my last lesson with him.... LAME...
Haiz...today is lao pa last lesson le. I will not have his lesson anymore from today onwards. So sad... Today was his last lesson with us cuz he is going to become "jobless" to take care of his child. He is such a good father, hardly any father would do that. I admired him! 老爸，你是我的偶像！我太崇拜你了！Today during his lesson, he all of the sudden call me! I was feeling darm cold at that time! (Today raining, so more the air-con is blowing cold air at me! Cold sia!). Anyway, he called me to answer question. But i dunno wat he is trying to say at the time, until he says "mei yen, u got sore throat ah?", finally i knew what he was talking about. He was actually asking me to speak louder and be confident in my answer. Hahaz.... so malu and so sotong! I think i am going to miss his lesson. Now i am onli down with three lessons i like to attend, use to have four (BIOLOGY, MOTHER TONGUE, GEOGRAPHY,SS), now lao pa is going le, dunno who is going to teach us? dunno whether is him? Dunno whether would it be interesting to have him as my GEO cher? Haiz... we will wait and see! =)

Hahaz... this few days... my juniors and friends are telling me lame jokes & riddles. Quite fun but make me feel that i am so stupid and WOLS... til now i haben even try to solve one correct questions... (think at the back RL and NANA are laughing at me!) but sorry lor, wat to do? i really dunno the answer... haiz... sad man! anyway, i am having fun telling these jobs to teachers adn friends! =)

The first lame joke was the one abt the submarine!
> There is a submarine which can only maximum hold ten persons. One day, the submarine had nine person on board, then one pregnant woman went on board. The submarine sink. y?
> Cuz, submarine sink, it dun float!
Hahaz. told this joke to teachers. Three like me got it wrong! (One even say about the density of ship!) Then the rest of the teachers i asked, wa... veri smart... all say correct, somemore they dun take a long time to guess the answers! Teachers are indeed teachers!

Next joke.
> In the past, Superman use to fly with one hand. But now, Superman fly with two hands. y?
> Cuz, last time, technology is not so advance so superman had to use one hand to manually control flying. Now, technology is good. Superman can thus do auto flying!
hahaz... told this to Mr Leong today. he couldn't get it correct at first. Then i told him the answers. Then he said that he can also give other answers like "Cuz last time Superman young, so use one hand fly, now Superman old, so use two hands!" Another answer from Mr Leong was "cuz Superman gain weigh so need to use two hands to fly!"(Daniel then says " then when Superman was a kid, he dun need to use hands cuz very light, can just fly!") Hahaz... so funny, and lame! -_-

Next few jokes.
> One day, Maggie Mee and Chao Kuew Tiao fight and quarrel, then they each went their own way! Then, Chao Kuew Tiao saw Mee Hoon! Guess wat Chao Kuew Tiao told Mee Hoon?
> Chao Kuew Tiao says: "Maggie Mee, dun u think u rebond hair le, i dun recognise u!"

>Snow White go bathing, seven dwarfs went to see! Guess one brand of a drink! (Not alcoholic)
>The drink is 7 UP. (Think Bio students should know what it means after you have learnt chapter 21!)

Hahaz... that's all i can remember till now! =) sorry a bit STM (Short term Memory), cannot remember that much, except for those i think really funny one!
Hope there would more jokes to lame me! Wanna go trick my chers! So fun man! Think Jane, RuiLing and HuiLing knew how fun it was ba! =)

To MR JAMES KOH:天下没有不散的筵席, we are sure going to meet each other one day! Hope everything would go well for u! Hope your child can get well soon! Gotta miss u! =)

Haiz... How do i do?
Finally the speech day ended. Tiring day for me today! Legs pain till siao!
Haiz... dunno how i do todae? Think badly ba! Something bad happen... Think it's my fault! I am really sorry abt it! Maybe i shouldn't be the person afterall. I dun even think i have the quality to be one! I am really sad.... I felt that i am so not suitable for that position i have to hold. I am still not up to the standard and expectation ba! I really feel very confused... think i shouldn't be part of the nomination of the position in the first place... =(
firstly, i would like to sincerely apologise if i pronouce or did not read the words correctly... i have really try my best...
secondly, if i did not do my ushering and welcoming job well, i am sincerely sorry!
Sorry... Sorry.... that's all i can say to comfort myself...

Maybe it's true ba, i am really can't make it to the standard of what the position have to be! I can't deny i have been reminded by teachers abt how i have to behave. Things purely and simple like attire and the way i walk, i can't do it well. I am tardy with my attire, i walk like a gangster... I can't speak well properly and with confidence. All these things have really shown that i shouldn't have be in the position in the first place.

I can't deny i am someone very rebellious. When i told my friends i am HP, they were shocked and i think they can't believe i am the one because they were expecting the other two candidates who are more presentable, outspoken, well-disciplined. I am someone different, someone who would not follow the rules, someone who is very likely to break rules, someone who don't have the right to be the role model for the rest to see. Just like Joyce say, out of so many HP in this school, i can say is the most "BAD" and rebellious person. Even though, i can influence others but that doesn't mean anything! I am not a good role model! A good role model is the most basic things a HP should have. I dunno why i am typing all this out, but i just feel this way. I know RL and Christina have tried very hard to encourage me but i know everything abt myself very well! I know exactly what person am i! I know i can't be someone who is a good role model! I am really striving very hard to meet the expectations. But I am still not doing well. I can see from their eyes! Maybe i am perfectionist! But i know i can't take this anymore! I would go crazy one day! I just feel that i am unlike the others two candidates who can meet up to expectations! I am really getting tired le!!!

Typing the words above are just my pure feelings, I did not mean to disappointed anyone. I think is just that i am not confident and is disappointed abt myself. I felt that i have given myself many chances to change but NO i did not. It's getting more and more tiring le! I hope i can have determination and carry on!

I can't give up so easily! I believe i have the ability since they have chosen me to be the one! So i should try to be better, i hope not to disappoint anyone again!

Feeling very confused and discouraged! Where have the old "ME" gone to? the old "ME" who would not give up easily? the old "ME" who can overcome all challenges that come? the old "ME" who used to be happy-go-lucky? the old "ME" who is carefree? the old "ME" who smiles and have fun everyday? just where did the old "ME" go? I think i am lost and trying hard to find back the ORIGINAL ME!!!

Ahahah... i am so scared.....
Yoz... gd morning.... quite early sia... toade first time wake up so early in my life without the help from my mother or the alarm clock. haha... for those who dunno, i usually work up at around twelve or eleven or even later if there's nothing on.But todae's special day! It's our school speech day! It's a big event in our school. Hope nothing goes wrong! Very scared and nervous that something would go wrong later... (Praying hard now that everything would run smoothly todae!) Gonna go up the stage later to read the pupils' creed... very scared! Hope i would not read wrongly! I did badly yestersday! Read a lot of words wrongly and needed mdm prema and mrs choo to keep on helping me! (I am so sorry abt it!) I hope i could do well today and not let u all down! Thanks for being that patience yestersday with me... I am really encouraged! Hope i could read it well!
Plus congrats to all who are receiving awards todae and to those teachers who are getting the long service awards today! Nice job and work feom everyone! It's hard work for everyone, now it's time you all can celebrate! I hope i could be one of them who is out there next year! =)
Haha.... now 650... four more hours! Hope everyone have a nice day today! =)

NAFA... bad... MOOD... bad
Haiz... todae NAFA was terrible sia! First dunno wat happen to me today, can't jump for my SBJ. Usually i jump around 160cm plus, (if i not wrong, last year was 167cm) but today i only jump at 147cm. Wa siao... a difference of 20cm! Then for shuttle run, worst ah... i almost fall down twice. This time, the SR was at hall which was quite a slippery place. Who tell me so stubborn dun wan to take off shoes! Make me run at a time of 12.5s... so different from last time where i used to run from 10 to 11 secs! Ahahahah.... wat's happening to me.... Bt, one gd thing is my sit & reach! Hahaz... I reach till 41cm... 14cm more from last year... that's cool! Todae everything went in a REVERSE manner, all those stations which i thought i would do well turns to the stations i did the worst! Haiz... bt anyway, i did my best le... =)

Todae, haiz... feel so bad mood! It's maybe i am thinking too much that make me so sad or maybe i am setting a high expectation for myself...
I felt worse than before. If i knew that all this would happen, i would never want to be one! Maybe it's because i feel so stressed ba... so i'm moody!
RuiLing says this few days, i do not smile as much as usual! I actually know it myself... I can feel myself getting more and more depressed because of the load and the expectations i set for myself for ba...
Try veri hard for some subjects le... but dunno y i am still getting so low marks... Plus all the loads that i am carrying... I hope i can throw them all away from me and take a deep breathe and move on! If one day i can't take it anymore, i am afraid i would cry! I am really trying very hard to meet the expectations! I am really trying my best to change! But that's who i am! Haiz... dunno y i can't cry now, usually i would... maybe, i am trying to act strong in front of everyone ba! After all, i have went through so many bad things and obstacles in my life for the past 15 years! I am trained to be strong and brave to face everything in my way!
I am sorry if i am a bit of attitude to any of my friends. I am sorry if i have affected your mood too! I can't really smile! But i will get back to the old me one day! Believe me! Sorry to make u all suffer with me all these days! Thanks for always being there for me! =)

A SMILE IS A CURVE THAT SETS THINGS STRAIGHT!
OF EVERYTHING YOU WEAR, YOUR SMILE IS THE MOST IMPORTANT!
A SMILE CAN BRIGHTEN THE DARKEST DAYS!
So to all my dear friends, i will sure find my smile back! (the fake smile which RL and NANA say i have) I believe that you are the ones who are capable of bringing it back for me! =)

Sitting Arrangement...
Haiz... todae fail my NAFA 2.4m again... second time le... gonna run it for the third time AGAIN!!! what to do? it's actually me who is giving up in the first place... Over here, i wanna thanz JOYCE. She is the one who told me to keep running and not give up. She push me and encourage me as i ran. She gives me mental support and physical support! I am really happy and touched to have her by my side to accompany run 2.4km. I knew that she dun hab to run with me cuz she passed le. Through this, i can see that she is really one of my true friend who help me when i am in my difficulties! (Hahaz... i am not too gd at touching words!) But i am really touched and proud to have her as my friend. (T0 christina too! She acccompany me and even gt herself fail for her NAFA! I am sorry but really thankful u were there!) Joyce, sorry i did not pass the 2.4km but i am really thankful to have u there! I have no words to describe my feelings but just "THANK YOU! SORRY! I will try my best to pass it the nxt time round!

Todae, our class gt another new sitting arrangement! Lucky me! I did not have to change place. (Of course la. i sitting with that ZX. The only pair of girl and boy in class sitting together. Teacher would surely not change us one la!) But i think J and B are unhappy abt their sitting arrangement. I fully understood how they feel. But sometime, we have to be prepared for any changes around us! So hope everyone who kanna change ca adapt to the change! and of course, LUCKY RL still sitting in front of me! hahaz... is u lucky to in front of a clever genius like me! =)(DUN DENY OK?)

Tomoro gt NAFA and chemistry test! Five stations ah!!!! Think i can score well for SBJ, SR, IPU,SU... but dun think can pass for the sitting & reach. (hahaz! too fat! can't reach!) Hope really can pass this year NAFA!!! For chemistry test, hope can do well! Haiz... anyway, i already half-prepared i will fail for this test! but anyway hope miracles will happen!!! =)

Nothing will never be achieved unless you overcome yourself! Face it bravely and you would survive through!

sTeSs s!A....
Haiz... yestersday forget to inform five prefects that they need to meet mdm prema todae... (very sorry to mdm prema)... haiz... keep on forgeting things nowadays... last night i onli remember abt chinese speech, bio test... that's all i can remember seriously...

I seems veri stressed today. When i know i forget to inform, i felt like crying. I dunno y! but mayb it's a way i hope that i can relax myself. Feel that there's a lot of things that is undone, and abt the feeling i hab after being the Head Prefect! I mean it's nothing bad abt being the Head Prefect, but i just feel the pressure. A head prefect is supposed to be a veri guai person, but seriously i am not... and i am now trying to be as guai as possible. A head prefect should be firm and strict in sch rules. I am someone who is fine with anything except those veri serious sch rules, i am fine with people who bring food or drinks back to class. I felt that the people who are doing these actions, actually have the responsible to throw away their own food cuz they wouldn't want their place to be infested with ants. (UNLESS U R ZHENXIANG...)
I now see myself as not up to the standard of becoming one. I felt so FEI. I dunno y but i just have this pure feeling that i shouldn't be the one cuz i am not as firm as Audrey and Shoban does. Even though my friends try to convince or encourage me, but i still felt the pressure. Haiz... maybe still haben get used to the position... slowly ba... give me time! =)

OMG! lao pa is going to leave this school le. Even though i hardly know him for two years, but i will miss him lor. Hs is a good teacher. He teaches well and i like his teaching style. But because of certain reason, he has to leave. When i heard his reason, all i can say is "U R A GD FATHER!" I admired him. He is a caring father, a father who really would leave his job to take care of his child. I am a sick person myself, i know how much it matters to have a parent to take care of us! Anyway, i hope that everything would go well for him. Hope his daughter can get well soon! I will support u all the way 老爸! U are also my 老爸, MR JAMES KOH! U rulez man!!! (wanna cry liao...)

It's destiny or retribution! Our teachers are one by one leaving... especially the gd ones... first was mdm zurahan, then mr png, ms ring, mrs philips, then now mr james koh!!! ah.... so many gd teachers left us... Dunno y we so unlucky! But just like wat mr james koh says: " We are studying for our ownself, not for the teachers or for the school." So, i will study hard! I would not disappoint myself and the teachers. I really miss them!!!!
Dunno if anymore chers are going to leave us... who's gonna be next? (Hear that it is TWL!!!)

Tomoro is INTERNATIONAL FRIENDSHIP DAY!
HAPPY INTERNATIONAL FRIENDSHIP DAY TO U KNOW WHO U R & MAYPIG!!!

Now matter how successful or how much a failure u are, friends would also stay beside u and accept who u r and wat u are! Friends see you through happiness and pull u through all odds! That's what friends are for! =)

我可以.... sleep ma?
我可以
寄没有地址的信
这样的情绪有种距离
你放着谁的歌曲
是怎样的心情
能不能说给我听
雨下得好安静
是不是你
偷偷在哭泣
幸福
真的不容易
在你的背景
有我爱你

*Chorus*
我可以陪你去看星星
不用再多说明
我就要和你在一起
我不想又再一次和你分离
我多么想每一次的美丽
是因为你

寄没有地址的信
这样的情绪有种距离
你放着谁的歌曲
是怎样的心情
能不能说给我听
雨下得好安静
是不是你
偷偷在哭泣
幸福
真的不容易
在你的背景
有我爱你

*Chorus*X2

Yoz... April finally arrived, which means 'O' level drawing near....
sianz.thought today gt BIO test, but in the end dun hab, cuz think haben printed out or prepared yet, so shifted to thursday. Hahaz... today BIO lesson fun sia! (I mean till the end) Think a total of three slept in the lesson today. my cher then wanted to summarise, so asked all those sleeping to answer. First one called was LAO PA. Hahaz... luckily he is still not so sound asleep, still able to answer the question! (Not bad sia, sleep also know wat cher toking abt!) Then, cher called KY, she didn't wake up, she continued to sleep.(think jia xin shake her up!) Then after that, she finally sat up, but her eyes still closed! (OMG, still sleeping!) Dunno when she then became awake, then answered back the question! so funny lor! can sleep until like that! think my cher de “吹眠曲”sing until not bad! Actually i wondered how many ppl is listening to him? Ppl around me dun! (Zhen Xiang still continue to sleep in his class!) Anyway, even though i may seem awake, but in the end, i would be half awake cuz i listen then listen, dunno how come can lose on where he is talking abt... (Think is the names, dun hab a gd grap of the biological names! keep on flipping back to previous page to find wat he is talking abt.) Hope can be more attentive in his class. (Dunno when he will call my name just like wat happen today! Thought he was going to call zhenxiang, so i warmed zhenxiang and asked him to wake up! Who knows? he called me lor... i was so surprised! Joyce and RuiLing was laughing their heads off cuz he call me,not zhen xiang!) Anyway, drawing of fruits on thursday! Nice one! Like practical man! more fun and enjoyable, at least won't sleep! =)

Ya... once again.... i am selected for the chinese 演讲比赛. second year this time! Can say sian abt it liao.. but still gt a bit of excitement, after all this is an national competition. it's a gd chance of performing... hahaz...

I am not going to sch tomoro! Hurray! can skip all the lesson in the morning! Gonna go for a health checkup @ KKH.(RUILING, PLS DUN想歪!) Haiz... think the health report would be bad.... can see lor... wat i ate... wat i do! haiz... regret now also no use! who tell me to have poor self-control, and lack of discipline! Hope miracles can happen... Praying hard! =)

EVERYDAY IS A NEW PAGE OF MY LIFE! =)